Miss Manners: I told her the seat was saved, and she brought in her sons to ruin my night

DEAR MISS MANNERS What exactly are the rules for saving seats at an informal event where seats are not assigned Related Articles Miss Manners Heroes No these co-workers are selfish and inconsiderate Miss Manners I don t want to lie and say her hair looks nice Miss Manners Am I allowed to speak to my friend s Alexa Miss Manners Aggressive customers want me to break the workplace rules Miss Manners I m baffled by this frequent question about my hair When I was invited to my nephew s martial arts presentation I arrived half an hour early to save seats for my family of five three of us were present because the others were coming from work and couldn t arrive early A woman came and sat in one of the saved seats even though my jacket was on the seat and I politely communicated her that it was reserved There was no admission fee for the event and there were plenty of other seats available although admittedly my saved seats had a better view which is why I arrived early The woman refused to move and passive-aggressively had her teenage sons come and sit next to her and basically half-sit on my lap I ended up moving because I was uncomfortable and had to stand in the back and miss the action and opportunity to take photos It truly ruined my night Was I wrong to assume I could save the seats GENTLE READER It is when whole front rows are saved at the middle school play that Miss Manners declares rudeness Her made-up but reasonable-sounding rule is this No more than one seat saved per person already seated So your situation qualified But just for free she will give you another tip Save seats in between the three of you instead of at the end i e person empty seat person empty seat person Others will be less likely to want to climb in between and sit next to strangers Then when the rest of your party gets there move over It helps if copious amounts of bags and coats are piled up on the empty seats and makes it more convincing that those who are absent are just in the bathroom DEAR MISS MANNERS I was in a coffee shop with my spouse when a couple of neighbors entered They approached us and announced hello I would have liked for them to have joined us because we occasionally cat-sit for each other and I want to remain on good terms with them Also I was feeling social But I didn t know how to word the invitation Would you like to join us seems to leave them no good way out if they do not happen to feel like socializing Does Miss Manners have any suggestion regarding how to proceed in such circumstances Related Articles Asking Eric I was discarded by my friend and years later his memory still infuriates me Harriette Cole I didn t like how my boyfriend proposed so I reported no Should I ask for a redo Miss Manners Heroes No these co-workers are selfish and inconsiderate Dear Abby Our sons are stand-up comedians and what they re doing isn t funny Asking Eric My sisters-in-law hijacked the dinner and created chaos in my house GENTLE READER We would love to have you join us has a subtle difference to it Since it is a declaration and not a question your neighbors have options including answering without answering They could accept say Thank you but we have a pressing matter to discuss and we don t want to bore you or less desirably say Thank you go get their coffee and just never return Miss Manners hopes for your sake that if they choose the third it is not also how they approach sitting your cat Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email dearmissmanners gmail com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO